Malaysian Night =)

Dear minions/blog readers/random stalkers who HAPPEN to stumble upon this blog,


YESTERDAY WAS AWESOME.

It was malaysian night at trafalgar square in London!!!

By the way the bowl above is an evil attempt to make your saliva drool. JEALOUS RIGHT????!! If you cant tell what it is (LOL) it's my semi-devoured bowl of Mee Goreng. It was awesome. Or maybe i was hungry.

Methinks there were at least 20 per cent of ppl there who were m'sians. It's really cool hearing all that manglish here =) And the best of all was the presence of Malaysian dignitaries. I shook hands with Health Minister Liow Tiong Lai! It was so surreal I had to buy some rendang to neutralise all that excitement. Oh yes and did I mention i clawed around to get my hands on a malaysian food discount card? It was fun. At least the non-existent queues reminded me of Malaysia =)

Sorry I only have pics of my mee goreng here =/ At least you wont find it elsewhere =)



I THINK I MISS MALAYSIA. A BIT =(

p/s: some1 told me blogs should b intellectually stimulating. I think my posts make an elementary school kid feel like Einstein.
p/s/s: at least i make elementary school kids happy

I miss college =(

Now that results are out, college journey has officially ended. No more association with college, except for that 'a' word, as in alumnus lol.

I think I wanna sound emo by saying that i miss college. The awesome friends, the kick-ass lab sessions, the sleepy classes, Ms Agnes' (very) frequent laughter, Ms Chandra's trick questions, Ms Lillian's smile, Ms Lourdes' sarcasm, Jeremy's mop-like supposedly Justin Bieber-ish hair, etc.

Then again, we move on. That's life I guess. It's just like we cant stick to roti canai all the time (my obsession with roti canai has being diagnosed - Roti canai Obsession Tantamount to Insanity or ROTI) It hasnt really sunk into me yet that we may never have a 100% attendance rendezvous. Well, some of you should get me lol.

I miss college =(

Why cant this post be more interesting?

Because my brain's dead from 99 hours of playing a certain game on the PS2 since the holidays HAHA.


"Change is the only constant" - Heraclitus


Ciao =/

4 ways to get rich

Well why is this post so random? Because it's what holidays do to people. They make you RANDOM. Like, totally. Yup, holidays again.

Ok back to getting rich (without the involvement of pyramid schemes). So how?

1. Invest in roti canai
Three years ago roti canai was probably RM 0.60 in most places. Now it may have skyrocketed to like RM1.20 in some places. Invest in roti canai at those places which charge exorbitantly for the coveted(?) piece of dough. You get 100% gain in three years just for doing that. You hear ka-ching in your bank account as cracking sounds of people munching on roti canai (garing) could be heard all over malaysia. Low risk investment - malaysians love roti canai too much to forgo this delicacy.

2. Invest in teh tarik
Teh tarik is to roti canai what coffee is to toast. No teh tarik to go with your roti, where can? IT'S ILLEGAL. Be warned. Increasing the price by 20 cents every two months is justifiable. People might grumble, but alas you can offer incentives. For instance, scratch and win contest for patrons who drink more than 100 cups of teh tarik, and they stand a chance to win two (2) roti canai (plus extra sambal). That should make people happily slurp on their teh tariks, while you happily bathe in their money.

3. Open a teh tarik + roti canai making college
With reference to 1 and 2, people will then realise how good it is to flip roti canais for a living. Hence a degree in Mamak Order of Nutritious Energy-inducing Yummy (MONEY) Food is extremely relevant (and profitable) in this age. Offer scholarships in the form of roti canai dough or condensed milk which can last them for a week's lessons, then, for the rest of the course, charge them a leg for giving them bar coded doughs and patented, fresh condensed milk, from the condensed cow.

4. Kill everyone else.
Well, when there's no comparison, you become the richest person in the world. Avoid mating with wolves, lest things may get hairy. Your descendants, most likely werewolves (Twilight?), might lay their paws at your non-existent assets. If so, repeat cycle, and voila, you're the richest person on earth again.



Told you the horrible things holidays can do to one's brains. Never believe me.

BM ku yang canggih

BM (Button Mushroom) ku hampir nak berkulat dan ber-fungi dah (yes, pun intended). Jadi mesti pakai BM dalam post saya ni =)

Hari ini saya bercakap dengan kawan imaginasi saya iaitu saya sendiri. Aduh, kesiannya budak tak guna ni.

Saya : Saya memang tak suka itu Untuk Penyeksaan beSar-besaRan (UPSR) kerana ia memang menyukarkan hidup.

Saya II: Taklah. Kan itu Pergilah Mampus alReady (PMR) lebih teruk?

Saya : Ya betul juga. Tapi saya rasa yang paling menyeksakan ialah itu Saya Punggung Meletup (SPM) yang tak guna tu.

Saya II: Tak juga. Yang paling teruk ialah a****l* (a-levels)

(kenapa dalam dialog pun ada benda macam ****? Tak tau lah, ini kan imaginasi saya. Saya ingat perkataan tu lubang keldai. Cis, tak guna betul)

HAHAHA syok sendiri betul ni

So long, a-levels. Hello, freedom =)))))) well, at least till uni =/

Paradoxical Irony: The Prequel: why (some) sequels (and prequels) don't cut it

Ok so the temptation was just too great. I only promised no sequels haha.

Well it's the age of remakes, sequels and prequels but some sequels just don't seem to live up to expectations. The top 3 reasons why:

1. Actors get old
15 years ago, while watching the brilliant Harrison Ford play Indiana Jones:
"OMG I didn't know you can jump from building to building just with your whip! OMG teach me teach me!"

At present, while watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:
"OMG drink some Anlene dude. OMG I thought I heard your bones crack while you were sitting down."


2. Producers try too hard
Add more villains (SandMan, IceMan, woMan). Add more romance. Add more conflict. Add more CGI effects. Add more explosions. Add 3D effects to keep the crowd occupied with things zooming at their faces so that they do not notice the mediocrity of the story =). Add corny dialogue which may sound deceptively intellectual. ("You are my son, and I'm your father, and your mother is your mother. ")


3. The original movie sucks anyway, but the producers just don't get it
I know what you did last summer, garfield etc are some movies so lame I'd rather spend my time cleaning the longkang. Still the producers decide that the world has yet to see enough of all the nonsense. Thank goodness Halle Berry was made to swear never to make a sequel to Catwoman. Finally some common sense.


p.s. to all readers, please DON'T even try to make a movie out of Barney and Fiends (well, after all they are all monsters - oversized reptiles)

Paradoxical irony III - Whatcha say and whatcha mean

This is the last sequel I promise lol.


How to decipher corporate language:

DEAR SIR,

IN VIEW OF THE RECENT ECONOMIC CLIMATE, OUR COMPANY IS CONSOLIDATING ITS OPERATIONS.

Due to some bad decisions made by our highly overrated and incompetent CEO, we are going pokai so to make up for his dumbass-ess we are firing our staff.


WITH THIS IT IS REGRETTABLE THAT OUR COMPANY CAN NO LONGER ACCOMMODATE YOUR TALENT.

You happen to be one of the casualties. Muahaha.


YOUR SERVICE HAS BEEN AN ASSET TO THE COMPANY.

We kinda like you, but we are too busy saving our butts.


WE WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU CAN LEAVE THE OFFICE PREMISES ONCE YOU HAVE PACKED.

Don't make me call security.


WE WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR FUTURE UNDERTAKINGS.

Pray hard that you can get employed.


YOURS TRULY,

Yes, you're fired.

Paradoxical irony II: Artificial Intelligence Vs. Natural Stupidity

This is the epic battle of the century: which reigns supreme? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

CASE 1
Artificial intelligence - superbly annoying analytical skills

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THIS MAY BE DUE TO
a)THE WEBSITE FACING TECHNICAL ISSUES
b)YOU ARE NOT CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET

YOU MAY WANT TO REFRESH THE PAGE, OR RECONNECT TO THE INTERNET.

Ok, A.I looks like it gains the upperhand here. Coz it has the ability to make you feel really dumb.

BUT. The natural stupidity camp has George W. Bush. Don't misunderestimate him.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --George W. Bush in a speech in Washington, D.C.

I know, I know. Natural stupidity wins hands down.


CASE 2
Artificial intelligence - Can do integration in a matter of seconds
Natural stupidity - Can press calculator to do integration in a matter of seconds, but still get the answer wrong.

Again, natural stupidity wins.


CASE 3
Artificial Intelligence - the wonders of Google
Try to google "country name which starts with the letter "U"" and you may get millions of search results, of which may include totally unrelated dumbass stuff like "how to start to name U punya baby". Ok maybe not.

Natural stupidity - the sheer dumbness
A jounalist went on the streets in America to ask passers-by what seems to be the easiest question - which country name starts with the letter "U"?
"Erm, Uthopia?"

USA duh! Don't you like, listen to miley cyrus? The not so subtle surprise: not a person answered USA, although they freaking live there.

Well looks like it's 3-0 with natural stupidity emerging as the victor!

So I guess we shouldn't be afraid of robots taking over the world. We should instead embrace ourselves for stupidity reigning over homo sapiens. And maybe monkeys and gorillas. But mainly homo sapiens.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid. I think your IQ just dropped after reading this. *gulps*